Only Half My Heart
by twilightfreek
Summary: Bella never forgave Edward for leaving in New Moon. So, she choses Jacob. But she is stuck in an abusive relationship with Jacob. The Cullens don't know, so how will Bella be saved? Later on it'll be ExB! So don't worry!Pwetty Pwetty Pwease R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay people. This is my FIRST fanfiction. I just love to write and I love Twilight!!!!!!!! YAY TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Umm, just pwetty pwetty pwease review. I'm trying my best and that's what counts (yeah right, actually what counts is the reviews)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you review, you get a free invisible cookie! I love cookies!!!!!!!! Go COOKIES!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I own cookies, but not Twilight sniffles. I don't own any of the characters too, but I want to own EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!!

Anyway, here's the story:

Only Half My Heart

Prologue

I stared at his topaz eyes. My heart wrenched at the sight of them, so full of pain and regret and some understanding. The pain of his long absence made my love for him disappear, and reappear in Jacob. My heart was no longer Edward's, it was Jacob's.

The warmth of Jacob's arms encircling my waist, caused some comfort. I knew he was the right choice. Jacob would never leave me like Edward did. Jacob could never rip my heart apart like _he_ did. Jacob truly loved me. And he would always love me.

"Goodbye Edward," my voice shaky. Jacob held me tighter. This was the man that became my life. My whole eternity was made for him, that first day at Forks high when I looked into his eyes in the cafeteria. My heart was set on just Edward. No one else mattered. No one else could tear me away from him, except him. And he did. He captivated me, he loved _me_.

A single tear rolled down my cheek as I saw his eyes darken. "I will always love you, Isabella Swan. Always. My heart is yours, forever," he took one last glance into my eyes before turning to his Volvo. _Goodbye Edward, my love._ No, not of love, but of heartbreaking love. I couldn't think of Edward as the amazing man he was before he left, just the pain he caused me.

"It'll be okay, Bella. I'll always be here for you," his voice was full of honesty, I couldn't deny that he would stay. I laid my head against his chest, pouring out tears. The heat of chest soothed me, but no matter what, I couldn't stop hurting. My heart couldn't stop breaking.

Tats when I realized, my heart was broken in 2, that's why it hurt. Only half of my heart was with Jacob. The other half drove away in a silver Volvo.

**So, what did u think? Did you like it? Well don't talk to compooper, send me a review!!!!!!!!!! How did you like the cliffy, sorta cliffy thing…blah blah blah. I don't know wut im talking about…….EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay guys! I love u all!!!!!!!! I got 57 hits! That is sooooo great, especially in 1 nite! Oh n I wanna thank ****Westerngal1994**** and ****Wayretro**** for adding me to ur favs! That means sooooo much to me, anyway I'm going to try my best to make this chapter great! So here is chapter 1 (oh and this is set 3 months after her choice…Bella is a senior in high school):**

Only Half My Heart 

**Chapter 1 Nightmares**

BPOV 

My mind wandered away from reality when I thought about Edward. I know I shouldn't think about him, but I think of him often. Actually not just often, but always. I missed the way he was always there. The cool breathe on my skin, the way he looked at me when I blushed. Everything about him never left my mind.

I always tried my best to make sure Jacob still thought I loved him. I don't want to know what would happen if he knew that I took his half of my heart and gave it to Edward. He would probably make that beating worse then the others.

Ever since I left Edward, everything about life changed. I wasn't happy anymore. At first Jacob was the perfect guy, always there to hold me and love me and such, but one night, when I dreamt of Edward and spoke his name when I fell asleep on Jake's couch after school Jacob became hateful. He started to hit me, and he never loved me the way he did before.

The beatings have gotten worse. So much worse. Sometimes I cry out for Edward when Jacob hits me. That just causes myself more pain. I knew I deserved it; I should've never left Edward. Never. He was and is the one that my life is devoted to. He _is _the one that my whole heart belonged with.

"So, Bella, what do you say?" Mike's wishing voice delivered me from my nightmares.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry Mike. What did you say?" I could hear the desperate cry for help in my voice. I just wanted so badly to shout to the world that I needed help, but I couldn't. I knew it wouldn't do any good. It would just take away the pain that I deserved.

"Would you like to go down to La Push this weekend? There having a big bonfire and gonna tell some stories and stuff."

"Oh well, I don't know. I can try b-," I couldn't continue. I just couldn't let Mike know that I needed permission. That would just be down right asking Jacob to hit me.

Mike just looked at me and shrugged, "Okay. Just let me know," he looked at Angela asking her to join us. I was so glad to still have some of my friends. Angela, Mike, Ben (well kind of a friend), and sometimes Jessica, if no one else would talk to her. Angela especially, I couldn't tell her everything about my life, but she knew most of my secrets. She could always be there, if I needed to cry, or just talk. She was my only _best _friend. And I owed her that.

"Yeah, Ang, you should go. I don't know if I'll be able to go, but it would be great to have you there," I tried to sound enthusiastic. The best I could with my life. I looked back at the Cullen's table. All of them together, the way I used to be. Together, what I wished for at night.

Alice looked in my direction, so I quickly glanced at my food. I couldn't handle their attention, all their glances. I thought for sure they hated me because of what I put Edward through. I hated me, why shouldn't they.

The orange on my tray became my sight for the rest of the period. When I finally looked up, Edward walked past me with the rest of his family. Ever since my stupid decision, Edward looked so depressed all the time. Just more of a reason to hate myself. To deserve all of Jacob's beatings. To know that my heart was gone, forever.

So how did you like it? I hope it was good. If I made any errors or typo's, or if there is anything you don't understand, just let me know in a review….and then you can get an invisible COOKIE!!!!!! YAY! Go COOKIES!!!!!!!

**I know I'm not the best writer, but I think I can say, my story isn't that bad….blah blah blah. Sorry, I'm just rambling…….. Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next chapter (which will be Edward's point of view [ I just love thinking of his name…) ******** will be posted by Thursday!!!!!**

**Twilightfreek! **


	3. Chapter 3 My Love, Bella

**Okay! Hey guyz! I'm so sorry I didn't update yesterday, but I had a lot of homework to do (I know…bad excuse)! But, this chapter will be in Edward's POV I do have to say, I'm kinda nervous…cuz this was my first attempt into Edward's mind…so, I hope you like it!**

**OH AND 1 MORE THING!!!!!! I'M SLIGHLY CHANGING THE SUMMARY.**

**Edward does save Bella. See, originally, it was going to be Sam that saves her, but I wanted Edward to be the Knight-in-shining armor! But, the loop is…how?**

**Here you go (and it's starting at the same scene as Bella….in the cafeteria):**

**Chapter 2**

**My love, Bella**

EPOV 

I couldn't look at the others. Their faces of concern, their thoughtful thoughts. I loved them so much, but the only thing that my mind kept to was: BELLA.

I couldn't get her out of my mind. I missed her warmth against my chest when I held her. That beautiful color of her cheeks, and the smell of her. A floral scent.

Everything about Bella brought an aching to my heart. I missed her so much. I still can't get over the fact that she chose _that dog!_ Although, she had to be happy. I know he couldn't leave her. He was the perfect _man_.

_Edward, hello? Edward?_

My eyes slowly came to Jaspers face. His eyes dropped the way my dead heart went when I thought of sweet, sweet Bella.

_Edward, I can't do this. I need to get outta' here. I'm sorry. _

Jasper quietly left the lunch table. And I understood why. My feelings couldn't help but tear him down.

I glanced back at my lunch prop, settled on the table. An apple. The first time I ever sat with Bella, I gave her an apple. I twisted the stem slightly watching it pop off.

I watched Alice as her thoughts became blank. She was having a vision. She quickly looked to Bella. I gave her a confused look.

_Something is wrong, Edward. I just can't tell what it is. Bella is…I just don't know. _

"What did you see?"

_I saw Bella being…_Alice stopped and started to recite the Constitution in German.

"ALICE!" my voice became louder, "What. Did. You. See?" I sneered threw my teeth.

_Don't yell at me, Edward. Do you think that makes me want to tell you?_

"Ugh! Alice, just please tell me," I was a little calmer, though, my voice still filled with anger.

_Well, um, Bella is um…She was…."_

"Alice….." I gave her a pleading look, "Tell me. Please."

_Bella was being hurt….._

My whole mind began to shut down. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Why would anyone—and I mean anyone—want to hurt…..I couldn't think her name. I couldn't make myself say it. I lost the internal battle, "Bella."

**Okay, that was soooooo sucky! I can't believe I wrote this! Just please bare with me! I'm lucky to even update today. I have this huge paper due on Edgar Allen Poe. And my mom is going to catch me sooner or later. So, please don't stop reading! I'm trying!**

**Thanks,**

**Twilightfreek**


	4. Author's Note

Okay guyz! Don't hate me! I hate it when my fav stories are just Author Notes, but I really needed to let you guys know! Rite now, I'm painting my room and it might take a while. Not to mention all my term papers due! God, I'm soooo busy! I don't even have time to read my story alerts! And tht kills me!

**I just want to apologize to my faithful readers! Thank you guys so much! Hopefully, I'll have a new chapter up by Tues or Wed, it depends! Oh and to answer ****Havefunwithit292's review, I will make the chapters longer. I'm trying my best! **

**Luv you guys! Thanks bye!**

**Twilightfreek**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay….first of all, I wan to apologize for taking soooo long to Update. My room is still a mess! I had to survive a tornado just to get to the computer! Lol! So, umm, I want to thank ****PrepGonePunk95, she/you (whatever) has helped me sooo much! She has completely given me a new way to get Bella saved! THANK YOU! **

**And thank you, faithful readers…Oh let me clarify one thing. When Alice said that Bella was hurt, she meant mentally (I know, I just thought of that)! So the Cullen's still don't know that Bella is hurting from Jacob. Here we go:**

**Chapter 3: One Tear**

**JPOV:**

**(The day after previous chapters, back in cafeteria)**

The mixed emotions from everyone was killing me, literally. I don't know if I can handle Edward's depression anymore. Pretty soon, I'll be suicidal. There's depression and worry from Edward, excitement from Alice, boredom from Emmett, and, wait can it be? Love? From Bella?

I couldn't take it in. Bella is still madly in love with Edward, but how? She chose Jacob, right? And something else. Something that I can't feel, maybe fear. No, wait, pain? But, how? I just don't understand.

_Edward, hey…Edward_ took a glance over at me; he gave me a questioning look.

_Man, she still loves you…Bella, she still does…._ I couldn't but love the look on his face. Not to mention the change of emotion: hopefulness. His eyes lit up with the small piece of his heart he had left. "Jasper? But h-," but he cut off. I shook my head slowly.

_She really loves you _I took a pause, waiting for an answer, nothing. I finally finished, _Still_

**EPOV**

She still loved me? I can't believe it! My sweet Bella still loves me.

I stole a glance in her direction, the smell of salty water creaked up. She sat, body held together by her arms. And her beautiful plump lips, in a painful motion. Her chocolate eyes leaked of small tears. I wanted desperately to wipe her tears away and tell her everything will be all right. My heart ached as she quickly looked over in my direction. I smiled, slightly, of course her blush caught up with her. Her gorgeous hair dropped down onto her hands.

I watched as the pain in her heart became more aware to the outside world. I tried to listen to Angela's thoughts; maybe they could help in my venture back to _my_ sweet Bella.

_Hmmmm, should I reach out and put my arm around her? She looks so sad. No, I can't she doesn't like to be touched! Duh! I should know that…_

Nothing. I wouldn't even bother with Mike's thoughts. Probably just more fantasies of him and Bella on a date.

I settled in my chair, thinking of a way to approach Bella. I don't want to be over zealous and scare her, but I also want to find out the pain she's in. Alice didn't really clarify what was causing Bella so much hurt and ache.

I just can't wait forever. I need Bella. I need to feel her warmth beside me again. I need to see her beautiful blushing cheeks. Let's face it, I needed _her._

**BPOV**

The day went on longer then usual. Lunch took my heart away, well, what was left anyway. I just couldn't not stare at Edward, or think of Edward, or want to feel Edward. The hope that he would want me back had failed long ago when I first told him Jacob was the one.

_Jacob_. Oh god! I just hated to think his name. I had loved him so much. I'd given him everything. But, he took it all and hurt me, more then just words.

I pulled my knees against my chest, holding myself together; a habit I learned when….I couldn't even think about it.

My eyes became glued to the old soda on my tray. Mike was talking about that trip to La Push this weekend; he was telling everyone that the plans had changed. He was going to have everybody take a hiking trip near the Cullen's house (although I was the only person-besides Jake- that knows where it is). I wanted to ask Jake to go. Just the sight of _their _house would bring me peace.

I don't think that asking Jacob would be a good idea. I'm sure he would go off. And that scared me.

I shuddered. I didn't want to think of Jacob's beatings at school. Here was my only escape, next to my bed in Charlie's house, which sometimes, that wasn't even safe. Jacob would crawl through Edward's old window at night. If he was angry enough, he would actually hit me…In my own house. I liked it much better when Edward came through that window.

I tried my hardest to keep a tear from escaping my eyelids. I pressed my forehead to my knees. _Edward. _Edward. **Edward. **_EDWARD! _I just can't stop. My brain was wrapped around his glorious smile and his beautiful kisses. _No! Stop! Don't think about him! Stop __**Stop! **__STOP! _

I just couldn't control my body, my head lifted unwillingly. I forced myself to look at the glow of his auburn hair. My eyes finally met the back of his God-like head. _Edward. What did I do? Why did I leave you? I'm so STUPID! You were my hero, my knight-in-shining armor. You're the one I want to spend my life with. _I control it any longer. My body was reacting on it's own. A small tear ran down my cheek. It went further down, until it touched my aching heart. I wanted to burst out in tears. I wanted to freeze time and just cry and cry. And I wanted my tears over Edward to be joyful one's. I just wanted the pain to stop.

I looked back down to my knee's, allowing my hair to cover my broken emotions. Soon after my first tear cam another, then another. I didn't want to be comforted my Mike nor Angela. I wanted to feel two cold hard arms surrounding my waist, where they would stay…forever.

**Okkie Dokkie! I hoped you guys liked this one. I know at a few parts, its gets bad, but I hope that Bella's POV made things a little better. I tried my best to get it right.**

**If anyone has any suggestions, let, me know. I would DEFINITLY like to hear them! Thank you guys so much! Leave a review and get a cookie!**

**Twilightfreek**


	6. Chapter 6 Jacob

Okay, you guys!!!! I'm so sorry! I feel like a total ugh [ I'm not gonna curse!!!! I haven't updated in like FOREVER!!!!! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry! I wll understand if I lost some readers! Please forgive me!

**Okay, now that I've done all the apologizes, I want to tell you guyz, I'm making this chapter longer and specialer [my word hehe! So where we left off, Bella was in the lunchroom, wishing to be back with Edward. And Edward realized she still loved him…….hmmmmmm! And that makes me even more of a ugh, is that I totally left u guyz at a cliffy! **

**I hope you like it! Oh, and I just wanna say this!!!!!!! If any of you have heard the song "18****th**** Floor Balcony" by Blue October, listen to the lyrics. It is so totally Bella and Edward (although not in this chapter, just period)!!!!! But, maybe, for this chapter…a little bit, a good song would be "Learning to fall" by Boys like Girls.**

**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a little out of MY character, but this chapter WILL have cursing. It kinda made sense…ok, I'm done!**

Only Half My Heart 

**Jacob**

BPOV 

After my small episode of tears in the cafeteria, I pulled myself together, just enough for Biology **[ I know they had biology together in their Junior year, but I like it the way it was…. **I would see Edward again. I would sit by his side, smell his scent, and leave an aching spot where he took my heart. Sitting by him was the 2nd hardest thing in the world, the 1st…losing him.

The halls smelled like cheap floor cleaner and old books. I ignored the gossip surrounding the town of Forks. _Oh, did you hear? Edward broke up with her. _Or sometimes even _Oh my gosh! She totally cuts herself!_ The gossip just didn't affect me anymore. If they only knew.

I entered the biology lab and sat down with a small _thud_. Of course he was already there. And there was no way to avid him, I could only hope it was like every other day, when he didn't speak to me.

I placed my face in my hands and bit my lip. It took all my might to not cry, but somehow, the miracle happened and no tears came. I looked up at the black board, trying to find some way to distract my wondering mind from the god sitting next to me.

"So, Bella," I shut my eyes and put on my strongest fight from tears yet, my cheeks turned a light shade of pink. My head slowly turned toward Edward. I could only nod.

"Um, well, uh, how are y-you?" He stuttered just a bit. His hand touched mine for a small second and he leaned closer. I tried to read his expression, as always, he was unreadable. I searched for words, they all escaped. I glanced at the wall.

"Uh, ok," I paused and took a look at his auburn hair and back to his eyes, "You?" That was all my mind could process at that time.

He didn't say anything. I looked back at the table. Then he finally opened his mouth.

"Well, the truth…" he was stopped by the bell.

I let out a breath, just noticing how long I held it. Mr. Banner **[just a name **walked in, and started to write our assignment on the board. There was no way that I could concentrate. Not with the conversation Edward left me with.

All I could keep my mind on was the fact, that Edward wasn't feeling good at all. He was going to tell me. Say something important. Something that I would find out.

But, one problem, Jacob. If he found out that I spoke to Edward, I don't want to know what he will do. I slightly winced at the thought. I was Edward turn his head towards me and focus back at Mr. Banner.

I leaned away on my left elbow. A small hiss of pain escaped my caged mouth. That was the newest addition to my many physical issues **[ I didn't know how to word that! Hehe!**

Jacob saw that my T-shirt was stained with small tears from the ride home. His muscular hand pushed me back on the wood table, causing a small sprain in my elbow.

I quickly regretted the small hiss that came upon all my pain. Edward shot a glance in my direction. His eyes a dark topaz and full of worry. I couldn't face him. My hair fell down my right shoulder, blocking his caring eyes.

It caused a little flare of hope to fire in my heart. He actually cared that I was in pain. After the horrid rejection I put on him after choosing Jacob. A small smile formed over my lips as the thought of his arms protecting me from Jacob, all because he showed he cared.

The bell rang shortly after. I gathered my stuff and notice Edward wait by the door. No matter hoe much my heart wanted to let him talk to me, I couldn't. I know that Jacob wouldn't like it at all. Instead I went over to Mr. Banner and asked him some questions about cells, anything to keep me from Edward.

Thankfully the bell saved me from Edward's grasp. I ran out of Mr. Banner's classroom and made my way to Trig. I knew Edward would find a way to get to me. He always does, or did. But, I would cross that bridge when I got to it.

For now, I kept all eyes on my Trigonometry text book. The hour passed too quickly. Nothing came to mind for escaping Edward, There was no way it could be done.

I gathered everything slowly.

The walk to my truck as actually peaceful. Edward didn't show. But, then a new worry came up: Jacob. He expected me to come to his house after school everyday.

La Push came too soon. And his house came way too soon. I parked my red beat up pickup in his gravel driveway.

The T.V. flashed in the window, a bad sign. He was home. Sometimes he waited at the beach to hand with Quil or Embry. He has been for a while. Except for yesterday and obviously today.

I creaked the door open. His glance stayed glued to the T.V.

"So, where do you think you've been?" His voice held a strand of anger.

"I'm sorry Jacob, it's just, um, school, was um, late. I'm sor-sorry," I managed to let out in a small voice.

His dark eyes found mine. They fired pain towards me. "Yeah? I don't think that's a good enough answer. You smell like…._him._" Oh no! That must have been when Edward touched me.

"So, sleeping around with your son of a bitch boyfriend?" He stood to his feet and stepped closer to me.

I shook my head fast, "No, no! Jacob, I would never go behind your back. No, no, you do-,"

"Don't lie to me you little whore!" he took my arm in his hands, squeezing to hard to feel them.

"No Jacob! You don't understand!"

"Oh so now sleeping around with bastards like him isn't understanding?" He pushed me against the wall. He pulled his hands from my arms to my sides. I screamed when he pushed against a bruise that formed over my ribs.

"You little bitch! Shut the hell up!" he slapped me across the face.

"Jacob, no! Stop! Please!" he stared at me. His jaw clenched.

"Shut up!" his hands crashed down on my shoulders and I fell to the floor. He held his foot on my left breast **[not in a dirty way, just to hurt. I'm sure most of you girls have been hit there! It hurts!**.

"This will teach you to sleep around!" His voice ran through the house. Soon he kicked me in the stomach. I held my arms in front of my face to shield from his next attempt to kick my head. "Edward! Help," I regretted my words wishing they would magically come back. No such luck.

Jacob yelled and threw his fist to my ankle and kicked my temple. Everything went black.

**Okay, I was going to stop there, but this is my apology gift! Enjoy it!**

I awoke to my usual sheets in my bed. I lifted my head a bit. "Ah!" a small whimper left the safety of my vocal chords. I held my head with my arms.

Some tears escaped my eyes. I laid down and brought the sheets to my chest. I pulled my legs to rest under my chin. A shaky breath came out and I soon regretted it. My torso felt like a truck ran over it. My ribs ached with every motion of my breaths.

I looked over at my dresser, my vision blurred from the salty water filling up. My digital red numbers read 11:13pm. A note was left by my lamp. I could tell it was my dad's handwriting.

_Bella,_

_Sorry about the motorcycle accident (by the way you are so grounded)! _

_Jake told me what happened, nothing serious, just bruises. _

_Love you. _

_Dad_

I thought for sure my head was drenched with blood. My hands made their way up to the aching pain. Sure enough no blood. Just too much pain.

Then it hit me, Jake covered up the beating, a motorcycle accident?

Everything told me to tell someone. But if they didn't believe me, Jake might kill me. Well, how could they not believe me? I have the bruises to prove it. I know I do. I fell them everyday, every breathe, and every movement.

I couldn't take much more of the pain. I closed my eyes. Soon, sleep invaded my thoughts. They held nothing but nightmares of the one, the only: Jacob.

**EPOV (starting when Bella sits down) Oh and if you think about it, "Teardrops on My Guitar" by Taylor Swift actually explain a lot of Edward (besides the whole girl singing it thing) ******

Her soft figure appeared next to me. This was the day. The day Bella would know how I felt. Bella Swan is the girl I dreamed of. She was the one who my heart belonged to. She's the girl I felt this way for

I had to tell he. No matter how she felt about Jacob, I couldn't hide my feelings from her. And if what Jasper felt was right, she loved me too. That's all I needed, one more "I love you" to escape her soft warm lips and be placed for me, not for that _dog_.

I started with no hope at all, "So, Bella," Oh Gosh! The sound of her name made my dead heart leap up to the air.

She looked away, I could smell the salt water being pushed up in her eyes. My mind let go. My Bella was crying. I needed to hold her. I needed to touch her, kiss her, love her.

I ignored my needs, "Um, well, uh, how are y-you?" I couldn't help but stutter with my dry tears. My hand reached over and touched hers. Oh, the warmth! I realized my action and withdrew my hand. But, I couldn't keep from her, my body angled itself so we were only a foot apart.

Then I saw a shade of oink creep up on her cheeks. I loved that color on her. I smiled.

She looked over at the wall. Soon, her eyes fell to mine. Her chocolate eyes held a pain. I tried to look calm. I needed to stay strong. I restrained myself the best I could without touching her.

"Uh, ok," she glanced at the shine in my hair and looked back. I waited, she didn't look 'fine.'

She looked away, "You?"

I could've said just "okay" or "the same," but I had to tell her the truth. I needed her to know. My internal battle came to a pause. I was going to tell her. I had to, "Well, the truth…" I stopped. Was this really right? Should just put that pressure on her? I went to open my mouth. A low ring replaced my strong words.

Don't worry, I'm not ending it. I'm just skipped time. This is later that night. In Bella's room. She's asleep and Edward is watching her.

The comforting smell of Bella's room flared through my nostrils. I smiled. I had tried to avoid this haven. My temptation was too strong. Not or her blood, but for her love.

She wiggled in her sheets. I looked at her with pained eyes. She was off limits. I shouldn't be in here, I couldn't be in here.

I unwillingly walked towards her window.

"No, stop! Edward! Please! Help!" I shot a glance to Bella. She was sleep talking. About me?

"Edward! Help me! I need you!" Her voice rang with terror. I went to kneel by her bedside. She started to cry, "No, stop Jacob!" Her hand went to touch her head in protection.

I snarled. Jacob! He was hurting her. And _I _needed to be the one to stop it!

Ok, now that's a cliffy! I love you guys! I promise to update much sooner! I gotta go! Church calls!

**Please Review! I need you guys! Thanks so much! Oh yeah n so far I have 1776 hits! YAY!!!!!!1**

**Twilightfreek**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, you guys should so be proud of me!!!! I'm updating…2 Days IN A ROW!!!! YAY!!!!**

**Ok, today, my school county got home early so, I have like 4 hours to do whatever!! I'm so happy! But, my bus was carrying the other bus kids so I was squished (3 to a seat in EVERY seat) Grrrrrrrr!!!! **

**And I want to apologize for ALL the spelling errors and grammical [if that's a word..hmmm errors in chapter 4. I'll check this one before updating! **

**Ok, here we go…!!!! Oh, and my song choice for this chapter is "I Need You" by Relient K….good song!!!! **

** Only Half My Heart**

**Chapter 5 Dreamer**

BPOV 

I awoke to a cloudy Friday. The clouds welcomed my aching heart into it's grasp. No matter how much I couldn't talk to Edward, seeing him made my day. Just one look.

I was afraid to lift my head, after my incident yesterday; even breathing was a bad idea.

I kept going to the thought of Edward saying hi to me today, just like yesterday. I couldn't control the raging thoughts of Edward coming back. And especially the dreams he might hold me tight and whisper in my ear "Everything will be alright. I'm here, it's ok."

I picked out a simple black T-shirt that hung loosely against my body. Written on the shirt was "Dreamer" in rainbow colors. It was one of my favorites.

I pulled out a pair of black Chucks **[Yay! Go Chucks**. And some dark wash jeans. Nothing special, just clothes to get me through the day.

I traveled down the stairs, holding the rails to keep from falling. No such luck. My feet missed the following step **[which I do all the time XP. **I tried to control my outburst.

I shielded the upcoming floor. My arms rose over my face. The floor came slowly, but then stopped.

Those familiar arms came around my waist. I waited, waited for the dream to disappear and wake up from a concussion I received from the familiar linoleum floor.

My eyes came open slowly, he was there. For real, standing in front of me. My eyes watered at the sight of his glorious body.

My head lay on his shoulder, his beautiful scent rest upon the opening of my nostrils.

"You should be more careful," I looked up at his topaz eyes. His voice filled my ears with the dream I've always had of him.

I scrambled for words. My brain became applesauce with his stare bearing into my eyes. I opened my mouth to let out something, anything.

"What-what are you doing here?" I was awestruck. He was in _m_y house, in _my_ kitchen with _me_ in his arms.

I couldn't take it; I couldn't handle him being here. I tried, I really did. I had to give up.

I pulled my arms around his neck and began to sob into his shoulder. He held me close, whispering soothing sounds into my ear. I held him closer.

There was no way I could ever let him go. No way I could let him out of my sight. I needed him. I loved him. I needed to hear his voice, to feel his touch; I needed Edward in my life forever.

He tried to look at my face, but I couldn't bring my head from his wonderful scent.

Eventually, common sense caught up with me. I reluctantly pulled my head away and looked into his eyes. But, I made sure to keep my arms glued to his neck, I was NOT going to let go.

"Oh, Bella," he gently lifted his hand to my cheek. The icy sensation caused a small smile to curl up on my lips. I was home, in his arms.

But, his voice was carrying too much pain. An angel shouldn't be frantic like this. He should be happy.

My eyes began to water. I pulled back to his tight embrace.

"Edward, I'm so sorry, please forgive me," tears were streaming down my face, my voice was cracking, "Edward, I love you, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't-"

"No, Bella. It's okay," Just like my dream. He was there; it was going to be okay. I hope.

"But, there is one thing," Edward paused, I felt him stiffen, "I know about Jacob."

My head shot up. I pulled away from his grip. Jacob.

**Okay, I hope you guys like this.**

**ATTENTION!!!! If anyone can give me suggestions on how to make the chapters longer, that would be great**

**I love my faithful reviewers! You guys ROCK hehe! **

**Thanks,**

**Twilightfreek **


	8. I'm SOOOO Sorry, an author's note

Ok, I know…I know……..I HATE authors notes too. But, I needed to tell u guys…I probably wont b able to update till Thursday , I know…its sad!

**The good news…..I gots a beta!!!! Her penname is ****xoMoichella****….she like wrote a whole knew chptr in a review…I mean PM…my bad! Haha!**

**So, we have to converse…a little! Ummmm, theres really nothing left to say! Once again Im sry, its just an authors note! BRING ON THE FLAMES….i don't care, I actually don't blame u!**

**But, I do luv u guyz!!!**

**Thanks**

**Twilightfreek**


	9. Chapter 9 Denying

Okay, there is no excuse for my behavior, oh gosh, now I sound like I'm talking to my teacher…ewwww!

**I've just been so stressed, see, I auditioned for a high school (it's a performing arts school) and I'm still waiting for a letter of some kind! It's torture!**

**So, in this chapter Bella denies the truth…blah blah bah! The song for this chapter should be: "What I've Done" By Linkin Park. LOVE THAT SONG! And with Jacob "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace**

**Here We Go: **

Chapter 8: Denying 

**BPOV**

I avoided his beautiful gaze. _How did he know about Jacob?_ I tried different scenarios about how this became about. Alice can't see werewolves, Edward can't read my mind….WAIT! How could I be so stupid?

The tears returned for round 2, "Edward? What are you talking about?" I knew I was a bad liar, but I tried to pull myself together. He just looked at me.

"Bella, you don't have to lie to me," He looked concerned for me. The horrible creature who betrayed him. I caused him so much pain and yet he still cared about me. I smiled, but it quickly faded.

"I'm not lying," he put me down. I couldn't not touch him, I pulled his hand into mine.

"Bella," his voice was now stern, "Jacob his-" his eyes closed and he sighed, "hurting you. I know, Bella. Can't you see?"

"Edward," his name left tingles on my lips, "Jacob isn't. Well, he doesn't. You can't," I sighed. I released his hand, "Edward, I love him," the tears welled up in my eyes, I killed myself to stop them.

This was my one chance to have Edward back in my life, and I blew it. Edward was here in my kitchen and waiting for me to take him back. I thought of what Jacob could do to Edward. It was like one of those sad love movies. If I really loved Edward, I couldn't be with him. **[Okay, for this part of the story I just thought of another song: "Mixtape" by Butch Walker**

I couldn't bring myself to look up at his hurt eyes. Instead, my eyes locked onto the hypnotizing pattern of the kitchen floor.

We stood there for countless minutes. I finally built up enough strength to open my mouth, "Edward," and with that he disappeared.

At Jacob's house after school 

I sat on the couch with my newest bruise. The T.V. created background music to Jacob's yelling. It seems his vocabulary only consisted of whore, slut, or my favorite bitch.

My eyes became watery, I knew that sign of weakness would egg Jacob on, but at that point I didn't care. Edward could've been back into my life, but I pushed him away. For what? Another bruise.

"Are listening to me?" his angry voice broke my trance. I wiped one tear that fell away. I rose up to look at him.

"Yes," my voice broke.

"Oh yeah? Then what did I say?" My posture fell, _shit!_ Um, what was he saying? Something about, Sam? No what…

"Hmm," He edged closer. "Tell, me you little bitch. If you were listening you would've heard. Embry just called," Ah! I thought I heard a phone ring. I slowly nodded, "Is anything wrong?"

"Hmm, I don't know how about you tell me, slut!" He pulled my up by my bare arms.

"Jacob! I'm so sorry what are you about?" My voice became quiet and panicked.

"Embry told me that he saw you and that _bloodsucker_ together this morning He was checking on our 'relationship' as he calls it. What would you say? Is our relationship suffering darling?"

I went into complete shock. Embry was like a brother to me! How could he? Well, there wasn't any point in blaming him. It's not like he knew.

Jacob threw me against the wall with his right hand. No worries, my shoulder blades broke the fall. Both of my arms went numb and I sunk to the floor.

He came charging at me. I actually had a thought of running away. Just over the borderline. Could I make it? My legs were fine, it was just both arms. Jacob pulled me up from the back of my neck.

"Cheat on me again! Go ahead do it!" He taunted me with his piercing black eyes.

He threw punch at my head, just in time I ducked. Suddenly I had all the strength.

I had never stood up to Jacob. He moaned in pain. His left hand released my neck. He started to curse when I hit the floor.

This was my chance. I could be free. The adrenaline running through me took over.

My legs picked up the pace and I was out the door. **[ Okay, I WAS going to stop there, but I'm trying to make the chapters longer. And besides I'm too excited to stop!**

My arms began to move along. I ignored the agonizing pain in my upper back. All I wanted was to get out of Jacob's grasp and be in Edward's arms.

This motive made me run faster. I dared look back. I couldn't stop myself. My head swerved. He was there. Behind me. Only about 15 yards behind, "Bella!" he hasn't used my first name since we started dating.

I smiled. Was he really going to stop? Saying my first real name was a step up from his normal behavior.

"I'll get you!" okay, well there goes another dream. Then all of a sudden, he stopped. He face turned to an evil stare. I was past the borderline. Just like that.

But my legs didn't stop, I kept going. At first I had no idea where I was taking myself. I can only remember it took forever to get there and more bruises to add to my collection.

The rocky terrain began to fade and I knew I was there. _Our_ meadow. **[Okay, I'm just in a very song-y mood. For this past scene I thought of the song "Stop and Stare" by OneRepublic**

I went to the center where Edward and I shared our 1st kiss. The memory brought back a whole new feeling, joyfulness. I thought of his marble lips against my neck. His head on my heart. Everything started becoming burry from tears.

The sobs transformed **[Oh! I love that movie! The Transformers! Okay, I'm done** to screams. My shoulder blades grew to a fiery pain circulating in my upper back.

I couldn't stop myself from screaming. This what it. All the pain was finally being released from its cage. "Edward, I'm so sorry! Please! Come back!" I was begging to no one. This was insane.

But with that thought, I screamed louder, "Edward!" my heart stopped beating. The tears didn't stop. The hurt for his presence was indescribable. I was wishing to be dead.

If I couldn't have Edward, life was useless. I didn't want it, any of it. I looked up, searching through all of the piles of branches. Then I saw the perfect branch.

I struggled my way in its direction. I felt the sharp point and smiled. The wood was grasped in my hands.

I let the final words slip from my mouth, "Edward, I love you."

And with that I took the branch and cut my wrists. The warm blood flowing over my hands and chest felt wonderful. The perfect meadow began to spin. I let out a rasp laugh. This is the end.

I have been wishing for a way out for one year and here it is. All along I could've just taken one cut and my problems were erased.

I started to imagine Heaven and Hell. Hell looked more welcoming then life without Edward.

My vision started to black out and my head was pounding. I went totally blind when I felt a cold hand on my cheek. Then an angel.

"No Bella! Why did you do this? Carlisle help. She's gone," the angel broke out into sobs.

My hearing left and I felt nothing.

**Okay, I am SO mean! That's what my friends tell me!** **Haha! Okay, I'm going to try update tomorrow! I hope I do! And yes, the ending was like the ending of Twilight. I wouldn't have it any other way! **

**I would love to thank ****hot 101****. You encouraged me to write this chapter right after I read your review! **

**Now, that doesn't mean my other faithful reviewers haven't helped! I don't know what I would do without you guys! I love you all!**

**Twilightfreek O.o**


	10. Chapter 10 Why Bella?

OMC!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are the BEST! 105 REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so amazing! So, I was actually going to update Saturday, cuz my time on the computer is short write now…..But, the reviews inspired me so much! I made time! Haha Although, it will be short, because I won't have as much time to write it!

**Im dogging u, but 4 those who only read the story and don't review…u shuld thnk those who do! Cuz, they helped u get the chapter done faster! **

**So, sry I couldn't reply to ur reviews, it was either tht or this chpter…I think u guys would much rather have a new chapter! **

**I hope u enjoy: And the song for this chapter is "Congratulations" by Blue October**

**Why, Bella?**

EPOV (a special request from a faithful reader)

"I love him," Her three words struck a pain inside I've never felt before. Even when she chose Jacob that summer day, I still thought there was a chance. But, not this time.

We stayed silent for a few minutes, deep in thought. I stayed strong for her. My face was blank, but inside, I was ripped apart.

Without any warning, my mind slipped into hurtful thoughts. I saw the way Bella used to look in my eyes, then I knew that was how she looked at Jacob. And her plump soft lips…against Jacob. He got to see her cheeks turn a warm red color everyday. I hoped he knew he was the luckiest man alive.

Those evil thoughts kept invading my head. And then I knew I couldn't hold it together, "Edward," her voice was soft; it drove me off the edge. I ran to the door.

It was no longer My Bella, it was _His _Bella.The soft grass sliding under my feet squished with every step. I couldn't go to school today. To see her so soon was a nightmare.

I no longer longed for her blood; I yearned for her soft arms entwined in mine. And her warm lips on my cold hard ones.

If I wasn't careful, I could get out of control and take her away. Keep her to myself, no one could see her.

Then I thought of the pain that would cause her. She didn't want to be with me. She wanted Jacob. After all he was the "perfect" _man_.

I couldn't face my family, they would want to comfort me. I wished to be alone.

**This skips to where Bella is at Jake's house **

I spent all day in _Our _meadow. This was the only place I was in peace, besides with Bella.

One thing I couldn't understand was the reason she dreamed of Jacob the way she did when I was in her room. I recalled her hurt cries, "No! Stop! Jacob!" And her calling my name. That meant something, well, I guess not.

What about Jasper? He could never be wrong about what she was feeling. Right? Jasper is _never_ wrong. It was probably mixed feelings of some kind.

I could never doubt Bella and her beautiful smile. But, she was crying. Why would she be crying. Wait, and apologizing. WAIT! She told me she loved me!

I smiled and saw some hope. She loved me. No, she _loves_ me! I couldn't stop repeating those words in my head. She loves me…me!

If she loves me, why would she tell me she loves Jacob? I couldn't understand Bella's mind.

My mind was going in circles. Just like a flower; she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me.

I just wish my ability was able to see her mind. I rested my head in my hands and knelt down into the green grass. "God, Bella! I need to know! Why can't you tell me!" I continued sobbing to no one. "Bella! Please. I want to know! Who do you love?"

My dry sobs couldn't stop themselves. I took sharp intake breaths and sobs some more. Bella is my life. No matter what.

I couldn't handle this, I carefully picked my knees off the ground and ran towards her house.

I was going faster then usual, until a small cry stopped me. I heard my name…once, twice. Then a scream of my name. I ran to that direction. My feet slowed beneath me.

I stopped behind a small tree. I spotted her small figure on the ground. Blood was traveling over her ghost-like arms. Then she laughed. I was taken back from her choice of sounds.

It took me a millisecond, but I saw a small sick in her left hand, covered in blood.

I leapt to her side and hugged her close. Carlisle appeared behind me. Alice. I had to thank her. I found my voice, "No Bella!" I held her wrist and felt nothing.

I returned with another round of dry sobs.

"Why did you do this Bella?" Her warm body was losing heat fast.

"Carlisle, help!" I managed to get out over my sobs.

My back was shaking, "She's gone."

So, am I evil or not!???!?!??!!!?!?! I know this was a VERY short chapter, but I wanted to give you guys some type of view in Edwards mind.

I hoped you guys liked it. It was so short because I have church tonight…I just REALLY wanted to get at least part of a chapter in there at once.

**Please review…it really does help me write faster! Thanks so much!**

**Twilightfreek **


	11. Chapter 11 Being A Neighbor

**Hey everyone! I know I said I would update Saturday….but Friday night I got food poisoning….well, it wasn't good! Not to mention how much pain I was in….jeez, my 2****nd**** time!**

**I want to thank all my faithful reviewers! U guys ROCK! Oh and in the previous authors note, I said "IM dogging u, but…." Im meant "im NOT dogging u" b/c I sounded VERY mean! Haha!**

**So I think this chapter's song will be "Bring Me To Life" by ****Evanescence. Love that song! **

**Disclaimer: I always forget! Grrrrrr! DUH! I so own Twilight **

**Stephenie Meye: Ri, tell the truth**

**Ri: What truth? This is the truth….**

**SM: No, the real truth **

**Ri: huffs like a baby Fine! I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!!!1**

**Here we go!!!!!**

Being A Neighbor BPOV 

The angel's voice kept repeating itself in my head. "She's gone." **"She's Gone" "**SHE'S GONE"

Then I was brought back to my memory of the bloody branch in my hand. I smiled at the thought. My life was ended, and boy, did it feel good.

No more worry about Jacob. Or pain from his beatings. Not even regret from losing….._Edward_. EDWARD!

Oh my God! He was the angel I heard. It all came together. He mentioned Carlisle, and that velvet voice. An angel's voice.

Tears flowed down in my mind. That means he saw me kill myself. The whole point was to stop Edward from worrying and being released from him.

I didn't want Edward to be there, staring at me, as the blood flowed evenly down my naked arms.

If he was there he must of heard me tell him I loved him. And screaming his name. That's why he came after me.

I was sobbing. He was there! In the flesh caring for _me_. It didn't make sense. He was helping me. Wait, helping me.

Even Mike would do that. Mike would have called someone to help and he would have stayed by my side. Maybe even Jessica.

It was nothing but a duty. "Help your neighbor. Love thy neighbor as thyself," that's what the bible says. I remember all those neighbor verses from church in Phoenix.

Edward didn't love me, he simply was doing what any morally right person would do.

My sobs became louder inside my pessimistic mind. What if he was telling the truth when he left in September. The conversation ripped me apart all over again.

_"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," his eyes were serious and he looked down._

_"You…..don't….want me?" The words rolled out like a disease._

_And then he just said it like a fact, "No," just that simple_.

I repeated that small conversation at least seven times. So, it was true, he really didn't want me. **(A/N Just so you guys know, New Moon made me cry so much. In fact I'm crying right now. I'm such a baby)**.

Even after that time with the Volturi, when he told me he was lying and he really loved me. It was all a lie.

I felt the burning of tears coming to the surface. No matter how much I felt like I was dead, something told me no. It's like a dream when you know you're sleeping and you try to wake up, but you can't drive yourself to the surface.

All I needed was to stop thinking. If I didn't think, then, maybe just maybe, I could let go. I could stop wishing for the impossible, foe Edward to really love me.

Stop thinking! I kept repeating the phrase over again. Stop thinking, stop thinking. Goddammit Bella, stop thinking!

Every thought, every word, everything sounded like Edward.

Then my body stopped, I let everything out. There was no point in holding it back. I was dead, well, I think I was.

I screamed Edward's name uncontrollably. I told him to forgive me. I would do anything for him to love me as much as I loved him. My inexistent body was shaking and My black vision opened up.

I saw white. Heaven came closer. I shook my head fiercely, this isn't heaven! Heaven is where you forget all the pain and suffering on Earth.

I still felt the pain of losing Edward. I was still sobbing and screaming his name. This isn't heaven.

White and brown came closer and I heard a voice. I couldn't make out what the voice was saying or what the voice was.

"Edward," Oh so know in heaven, you can talk. I get it, it's not heaven! It's hell, just a white and brown hell. Not exactly how I pictured it.

Forget it, Earth was worse then Hell. Although, they both had one thing in common, no Edward.

No Edward. No Edward. No Edward. I didn't even try to stop my dreadful mind. I screamed louder then I ever had, "NO EDWARD!!!" My eyes were stinging with the salty water.

I blinked to make the sting evaporate. My vision came clearer. Okay, I see a person. A very pale person, no, two person's. The voice returned.

Something okay. That's all I could manage to get. I started to beg, "Just please, kill me! I don't want to be in Hell. Take me away. Bring me to Edward. Please!?"

I was freezing. All of a sudden. The cold air was washed over my body. I began to shake from crying cold air. No, not air, maybe….no it can't be.

"I'm cold?" I questioned the pale person and myself.

"I know," Ugh! Finally a full sentence from….my pale rescuer.

"Who, who are you?" I found my voice. And my vision was almost restored. I noticed this pale um, -person- had brown messy hair.

"Oh, Bella! Thank God!" I felt the pale "thing," –I think it was a person- put two arms around my shoulders. This person was freezing.

"Your cold," I stated the obvious. Nice one Bella.

It chuckled softly. "Don't ever do that again," I knew that voice!

I blinked twice and saw the impossible. Edward was sitting over me. He wore a navy blue turtle neck and some dark wash jeans. I noticed how close he was to my face. I lifted slightly off the ground.

C'mon Bella, he might move. This is your chance. I reached up and had only 2 inches to go. My elbows supplied a stance for my upper torso. Almost there!

I perked my lips….here I go. I'm going to kiss Edward. Claim him as mine. Bella! He doesn't want you remember?

I fell back down. My mind fooled my heart. It's true, he was just being a neighbor.

My face reddened as the familiar tears started up. Then like a tidal wave, my body felt as it was being crushed. My wrists felt like I was under a semi-truck. And, God! My ribs.

Every inhale was torture. My tears came faster from the physical and mental state I was in.

"Bella, what's wrong," Edward became panicked. I scrunched up my face in a twisted pain and let out a moan.

"Carlisle, what's wrong with her?" Edward was pulling me up to his chest. I smiled. I no longer cared about the torturous pain my body was going through.

It was like before. I was in Edward's arms. The smell of his skin lingered in my nose, I hungered more!

It was like a beast took over. I pulled my legs up and wrapped them around his abdomen. My arms entwined his neck. And my head was laid against his shoulder.

I couldn't stop pulling myself closer to his body. Then, I realized what I was doing. This is Edward Cullen for goodness sakes!

He put any male model to shame. And then, I'm Bella Swan! I put no one to shame. I just make people feel better about themselves when they look at me.

"Edward. I'm sorry," I couldn't really get anything else out over my broken sobs. "I'm just so sorry."

I began to pull myself from his glorious hold. My feet were almost to the ground and then I couldn't get down. He held me there.

"Bella, what are you talking about? You're here now, right?" I looked up into his golden eyes. He smiled.

"Well, um," I lost my train of thought. Stupid beautiful vampire boy!

He pulled me to his lips. He pressed his marble lips to mine. And he did it. That was the best part.

I broke off, "Yeah, I guess I am here." And with that I hugged him close, nothing was going to separate us. Ever.

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**Okay, what did you guys think? So, I read my story today. From chapter 1 to chapter 10, and I realized, I REALLY suck as a writer!**

**How do you guys keep reading? Whatever! I'm done bashing myself. So I hoped it was an okay chapter. Don't worry, there will still be plenty of drama! **

**I mean what's a story without tons of drama? Review please!**

**Twilightfreek O.o**


	12. Dear All FF Readers

Dear All Fanfiction readers,

It is my unfortunate honor to tell the readers of "Only Half My Heart," that the author, "Twilightfreek" has passed away due to serious medical problems.

She has been struggling since the middle of March 2008 with this condition. I would like to apologize to all you readers for this inconvenience.

If you have any questions or comments, please, PM me from Twilightfreek's page, I will be reading and replying to all of those I can.

Thank you for your time.

Her Best Friend,

Brandie A.


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